Thursday, October 8, 2009

Ode to America

Aaaah. America. I love you.

Your glorious Interstates, with manicured Rest Stops and Vista Points, your road side diners with Bacon and Eggs and bottomless coffee. Your giant grocery stores where you can buy duct tape, champagne glasses, pharmaceuticals, t-shirts and beer. Where wine is always "on sale". Your Sizzler Restaurants with the All-U-Can-Eat Salad Bar thrill me. Baby corn, baked potatoes, soft shell tacos, pasta, with fresh fruit and veg and pickled things: artichokes, asparagus, mushrooms and olives! And tasty-freeze dessert. Yes, please with a brownie and sprinkles. All for $8.99! I love you.

Having recently enjoyed 2 great American road trips, I was fascinated by all things American. I love your signs, your billboards and your advertising. I even compiled a list of the signage that I saw along the way. It was non-stop entertainment as we drove and drove and drove along the Interstate through Montana, Idaho, Utah and Colorado and just took it all in. America is a wonderland! Here's the list:

-The Mountains Shall Bring Peace to the People
-Indian Outlaw Racing
-Real Estate, Real Escape!
-Honk if U Fish
-Your Mom uses Billboards
-Jesus is Lord of This Valley
-Pick Cherries and Come Meet Tiny the Talking Bird
-Bound by Sin? Jesus Brings Freedom!
-Gun Show. Every Type of Ammo!
-Massive Melons, Sweet and Tasty
-Domo Arigoto. Robotic Surgery Now Available
-We Suck.....Fat! Liposuction and Laser Lip Treatments
-Gun-Home-Business: The Safe Outlet
-Large Chunks of Watermelon
-Buyhashbrowns.com
-Kum and Go
-Freedom is Yours!
-Many varieties of Tarantulas Available Now
-Eureka! Find Gold Now.
Thank-you America. I love your green spaces, your high places, your people and your spirit! So, Honk if U Fish and God Bless America. I love you.

246 comments:

1 – 200 of 246   Newer›   Newest»
Paul Charteris said...

Great post.

I LOVE America too and plan to return every year to appreciate the whacky and wonderful.

I REALLY miss Taco Bell. Every New Zealander that came to visit me in the USA loved Taco Bell also. I especially miss their creative hybrids of burrito/pizzas/taco/salad/gorditas... And all this goodness starts at 79 cents too.

Cheers, Paul

P.S. anyone coming to NZ soon, please bring me some gorditas.

Jamie said...

Now... if only we could fix our awful health care system. :-)

Doone said...

America is like the little girl with a curl - when she's good she's very very good, but when she's bad she's horrid. I love the way Americans dream - just finished watching the documentaries on the making of the National Parks- that was a time of incredible dreams.

Aaron McConnell said...

Good list!

Isn't "Jesus is lord of this valley" in Invermere though? Give credit where credit is due! I suppose it is in a lot of places!

Meghan said...

Ah, how lovely. Perhaps you forgot the sign, "See Bears Now!" Or "Exit Here For Jackelopes!"

Sigh, America. ;)

Hugs!
Meghan

Danni said...

American would be better with more Paul, Keith and Leslie!!!

Gretchen said...

I like Doone's analogy of the little girl with the curl. That's pretty much right-on.

And just so you know, my husband and I love so many things Canadian. Like endless waterways, crazy bush pilots, unspoiled wilderness, cops on horses, and people who pronounce the word "about" like "aboot." Really, we have had only awesome trips to Canada!

Nicola Gildersleeve said...

You are incredible!

The Kum and Go always fascinated me. What a horrible/amazing name for a convenience store!

Stuart said...

LOL Great post, I road tripped from NYC to LA in 05 and saw plenty of these crazy sign along the way!

RunSueRun said...

Yeahbut... you guys have Tim Horton's, eh?! And curling. I love Canada, too!! :)

Sunshine Girl said...

Mmmmm....Timbits....

jlawrence said...

Ha! I LOVE American road trips too!

Damian and I spotted a big "You're car is your cage!" sign there last year. It was for some sort drive-through wildlife park, but after driving the tourist trail for a few days, it seemed very apt.

jlawrence said...

Oops! I meant "Your". I can spell - honest!

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